I can't remember & Hypothyroidism

So I had an ear ache and decided I should go see a doctor about it. You see, I have hearing problems and ear aches are really painful. Anyway, that's not the story, while there I figured I would ask about my memory issues. For as long as I can remember, no pun intended, I have had difficulties with my long term memory. Any memory further back than say 5 years is similar to recalling a dream. In fact I have mistaken dreams for memories and vice versa. Go even further than that and they start to disappear entirely with the exception of the really significant memories. For example, when my parents split, my first sexual encounter, etc.

I never really cared that much because I'm not one for dwelling on the past. That is until my memories of my kids started to fade. I can't seem to recall when my daughter started to walk or what my son's first word was.

I have a family history of Alzheimer's, but that eats away at the short term memory and I was experiencing a loss of my long term memory. So I figured I would seek some medical advice.

The doctor ran a plethora of test. Thank god they are able to stick you once for blood and draw multiples. I hate needles and they drew 6 tubes of blood. When I got the results back everything was looking normal. Like I said, although I am a fat guy I am fairly healthy. However, it turns out I have high levels of TSH, meaning my thyroid gland is not functioning correctly, more commonly known as hypothyroidism. This is a common excuse that a lot of fat people like to use as an excuse as to why they are fat. Frankly I stayed away from using that excuse because I always felt I'm a lazy bastard that just needs to play a little less XBOX and go for a walk more often and I still feel that way.

But I have to admit, it does explain a lot. Like why I am the only one in my entire family that is overweight. Why I can't sleep or the constant fatigue and of course the impaired memory. All symptoms of hypothyroidism. Again, things I always figured were a result of me being a lazy ass.

I've been given medicine to try and fix it but we won't know if it works for another 3 months and at that time we may need to up my dose or lower it. It looks like I may be on this med for the rest of my life.

Frankly, I'm not convinced it will work and so I will just keep on my diet and the exercise I have been avoiding of late. :)

Epiphany....kinda.

My entire life I have always been a little on the heavy side. Here is the funny thing, I never really considered myself to be a fat guy. I was always active. I played sports in school. I played basketball with friends on the weekend. A few of us even had a weekly 4 mile walk that we would do. Good times.

I've never really been plagued with fat symptoms. Sure I got winded going up a couple flights of stairs but who doesn't. Every doctor visit gave me a clean bill of health. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no diabetes. The doctors always gave me a 'you're pretty healthy' with a hint of surprise in their tone.

The last few months I have been feeling things go down hill. Although I have always had trouble sleeping, the last year has been really difficult. My arms actually fall asleep in the middle of the night and usually wakes me. I have been having more back aches lately, especially after being on my feet after a few hours. Obviously a result of the growing size of my gut. I have noticed my walk becoming more of a waddle. I am getting fatter.

The realization came when I was on a shoot last week. Ever since I became a producer a few years ago I have been doing a lot less of my own work and rely on a crew to do everything. I'm getting soft. On this particular shoot we were out of town with a small crew and a really tight shooting schedule with multiple setups. I had to actually work on this one. I had trouble bending over to pick up the cables. Of course my back was killing me. I was exhausted. That night I went home and wieghed myself.

I am now over 300 pounds. It's really hard for me to accept this.

So I have decided to try and do something about it. I have reduced my meal portions. I have taken up walking alot more. My goal is to be at least 25 pounds lighter by this time next year. We'll see how things go.